美国儿童心理学家替孩子向家长请求 (完)...

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lily 发布于: 2016-8-28 14:25 442 次浏览 5 位用户参与讨论
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读懂孩子,李跃儿育儿专家解读美国儿童心理学专家替孩子的请求:

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       12. 别以为向我道歉是没有尊严的事。一个诚恳的道歉,会让我和你更接近,更尊重你,感觉更温暖.

       在孩子小时候,大人做错了事,对孩子说“对不起,爸爸说的不对,你说的是对的”这样的话,我想任何一个父母都能说出来。等孩子长到超过十岁,家长因为一件事训了孩子一通,大道理讲得满天飞,结果却发现自己是错的,如果家长这时能找到孩子,对孩子说:“昨天那件事,爸爸去了解了一下,发现事情原来是这样的,当时爸爸理解为那样了,是爸爸错了,昨天爸爸批评你是错误的,让你那么难过,爸爸也觉得很难过。以后再遇到这样的事,爸爸会如何如何。”大家想想,如果咱的爹妈曾经这样对待过咱们,咱会温暖一辈子的。

       但有的家长又太容易对孩子说“对不起”。如,一次没忍住发了火,发完了火,把孩子抱在怀里哭,边哭边给孩子说"对不起,妈妈朝你发火了,以后妈妈再也不发火了”;说了一句错话,马上捂着嘴,连声说:“对不起宝贝。”对不起说得太多,以为这叫道歉,使孩子对爹妈没有了权威感,这不仅害了孩子,使孩子失去了人生最好的导师,也害了爹妈,使爹妈失去了一个好孩子。我亲眼看到一个孩子让妈妈给他买不该买的东西,妈妈不答应,孩子一边哭着一边大声喊叫,要求妈妈给他说“对不起”。而孩子打了别人,也马上给别人说“对不起”,说完照打不误。


       这里讲的真诚道歉,可能针对十岁以上的孩子更加需要。十岁以前需要父母尽可能不要让自己去做那些要说“对不起”的事,因为孩子还不能理解我们成人的道歉。但我们要记住的是,道歉时不要只说“对不起”——虽然在说这几个字时内心是真诚的,但表达出来不足以让孩子感受到我们的真诚。我们最好把我们要说“对不起”这三个字的理由也说给孩子听。这样好像更显得真诚一些。

       最后的这两条,就不再解释了,大家自己解释一下吧。最后的两条是:

       13. 别忘记我喜欢亲自尝试,而不是被你告知结果。

       14. 别忘了我很快就会长大。对你来说,和我一起成长是很不容易的事,但请你尝试一下吧。

       常青藤精英教育— 每一个妈妈的使命!只有读懂了孩子,才能更好的培养孩子。能真正懂自己孩子的除了父母还有谁呢?在孩子成长的有限时间里,用心陪伴他们,给他们真正需要的,这也是我们常春藤精英教育的理念。



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